The moon had moved into view from their spot on the stairs by the time Lucille could speak coherently. Jake had talked her into going back inside. “Not near the bedroom,” he promised. Leaving Lucille tucked into the couch, he went to the kitchen. Glancing at the leftover pizza, he rolled his eyes and went into the cabinet. Pulling down some relaxation tea bags, he walked over to the microwave. It had been a gift, long before they were together. Lucille’s microwave had exploded the night before he was coming over to watch movies and eat s’mores. He showed up with the fixins and a brand new microwave.
Jake smiled to himself as he put a cup of water into the sea mint blue microwave. If only he could buy her a new bedroom the same way he had replaced her microwave. Pulling out his phone he opened a text to his sister, “doc – you awake?”
Two years ago, Jake’s older sister had gotten her PsyD in Clinical Psychology, but since neither Jake nor anyone else in their family really knew what that meant, they all started calling her Doc. Her response came in almost immediately, “yeah… what’s up?”
“I need you to call me in one minute, ok?”
“Okay”
The microwave dinged. Jake removed the hot cup of water and walked it over to Lucille on the couch. “That has to steep for a few minutes, okay?” Lucille nodded, and looked up at him, “thank you.”
“Good girl,” he said reaching forward and patting her head. Christ, he thought, she’s not a puppy…
Lucille jumped as Jake’s ringtone blared throughout the living room.
“It’s my sister,” Jake said looking at his screen. “I’m gonna take it outside, but I’ll be right outside the door, okay?”
Lucille tilted her head and nodded again.
“You know how loud she can be,” Jake added as he swiped his phone to answer and backed down the hallway.
“Jake! What the -”
“Listen, something is wrong with Lucille. Like really wrong. Remember her PTSD, from college? Well, I think she’s having an episode or something.”
A bump echoed from Lucille’s room. She could hear it from the couch. Since they had come inside it was all she could hear – the obvious sounds of someone living, the sounds of movement, of walking. She tried to concentrate on Jake, but it was too late. She had told. She had acknowledged his presence to someone else, and there was no turning back now. Whatever was in her room was getting ready for when Jake opened the door. She would never open her bedroom door again.
Lucille wanted her tea, but fear kept her pinned to the couch. Whatever was living in her bedroom wanted the rest of her home. If she leaned forward it could, and would push her out. It was a nightmare, but a real one. Not something silly made up in her head. The air was saturated with the permanent smell of garbage and food gone off. The floors were always slick, coated with an invisible film. Sleep was the first thing it had stolen from her, and Lucille was certain it wouldn’t be the last. The door opened, and Lucille shrieked.
“It’s just me, Luce,” Jake said, walking into the living room.
“Doc?”
“She’s good. She says hello. She wanted to know if we were going to be around tomorrow. She’s coming to pick up Max anyway, so while she’s here…”
“That’s nice,” Lucille said absently.
“Definitely,” Jake said, “hey, Luce?”
Lucille turned her head toward her boyfriend.
“I’m going to go grab you some stuff from your room -”
“NO, please no, please,” Lucille cried out.
“Listen, listen,” Jake said, “here, drink some of your tea -” he handed her the mug “- I’m going to grab you some of your stuff so you can sleep on the couch.”
Lucille wept silently for a moment. There was no escape. “Not very social is she,” the voice had said. Maybe they were right.
Lucille sank as far as she could into her couch. Holding her tea mug with both hands she braced herself for the sound of the door opening.
“Wait,” she piped up, “if you’re going in there, can you please grab Teddy – no, Piglet. Er – Willie, no. Um, can you grab Simon instead? And my scapular. The green thing, hanging on my window.”
Jake watched as Lucille chewed softly on her lip. Looking up she tried to smile, even as her teeth tore at her lips. Pity hit Jake in the stomach. He would give Lucille anything if she could stop feeling like this.
“Can you be quick? Please…” She asked. Her voice catching in her throat.
“You got it, Luce,” Jake said. Opening the door to Lucille’s room Jake was hit by a wall of stagnant air. It was stale and pungent. It’s been more than weeks. Probably a month or two. Jake played back the conversation with his sister. Humor her, just for tonight. Tomorrow she would make a special trip down from New Haven to see them, rather to see Lucille. Jake grabbed everything she asked for, and slid out the open door. He made sure to close it as loudly as possible for her sake.
“Did you make sure to pull it tight? Sometimes it bounces open,” Lucille looked like she hadn’t taken a breath since he went in. “Can you check, please? Just, please.”
Jake smiled as he handed Lucille all of her stuffed animals and the blessed mother trinket. Without saying a word, he turned on his heel and walked back toward her room.
“Thank you,” she quietly called after him. Her voice jagged.
Jake pulled on the door handle. Felt tight to him, “it’s closed, babe.” Returning to the living room he looked down at Lucille. To her right were all of her stuffed animals and all the decorative pillows. “Sit,” she said, patting the spot next to her left.
“How lucky I am,” he said plopping down. “Lucille -”
“Shh,” she said sitting up. Placing her tea cup down on the coffee table, she turned and leaned into him. “Thank you,” she said, “and I’m sorry about -” she waved her hand toward her bedroom wall. “Let’s just have a quiet, romantic snuggle before you have to head home, okay? Please?”
Jake was taken aback. She wasn’t fully herself, but for the moment she seemed to have calmed down. He pulled her into his chest. She settled in. Her breathing even, moving in tandem as she rubbed up and down his arm. The repetitive movement calmed her. They stayed like that for a while. Jake looked down. There, pressed up against him was his Lucille, the one he knew and loved. Not the one that scared him out of his shorts, but instead caused movement in them.
Trying to ignore his own yearnings, Jake leaned forward and grabbed the clicker. “I know exactly what this night needs,” he said. Within a few button presses, Lucille’s favorite movie started on the TV screen.
“It’s perfect,” she said reaching up to kiss him. Her breath, now sweet like honey lavender tea, drew Jake in. The two explored each other more passionately than they ever had. The love between them was almost as palpable as the presence ebbing against Lucille’s door.
When it was over, Lucille stayed connected to Jake, letting him rest inside her. Jake realized they hadn’t been thinking, hadn’t been safe, but before he could say anything Lucille leaned forward. “I love you Jake. You’re right. It’s alright. Everything is okay.”
Jake looked deep into Lucille’s eyes, bright green once more, “I love you too, Lucille. And we are right. Everything else can be figured out.”
A smile spread across her face, as Lucille pulled away and grabbed Jake’s undershirt. Throwing it over her head, she poked her arms out as she walked toward the bathroom, his boxers in her hand.
“Hey, if you’re wearing those then how am I getting home,” Jake teased.
“Comando,” Lucille quipped back. “And without an undershirt.”
Moments later, Lucille returned from the bathroom. At first glance she looked beautiful. Looking closer Jake could see the exhaustion on her face. “Ready for couch, Chief.”
“Let me tuck you in,” Jake laughed.
Lucille laid down on the couch, and snuggled further into the cushions, unsticking the boxers from her leg. “Tonight was perfect. At least the end of it,” Lucille said sleepily.
“It was,” Jake said, “I love you, Luce. Good night.” Jake kissed the top of her head and made his way to the door.
“I love you too, Jake.”
“Sweet dreams.”
Jake closed the front door, locking it behind him. As the lock clicked, Lucille heard the sound of her bedroom door swinging open. It was only a matter of time, but she had time on her side. She had taken a dozen sleeping pills, two muscle relaxers, and some kind of benzodiazepine she had gotten from a girl at work. People had been giving them to her when she told them she couldn’t sleep. Some she had even gotten over the counter. Tonight she would sleep. Filled with love and even a little bit of pizza, Lucille was surrounded by mostly all of her favorite things.
With her eyes taken over by sleep and gravity, Lucille heard the sounds of the little doll-like terrors running. She smelled as the air was taken over by his stench. His voice loomed off in the distance, but all Lucille heard was the sound of Wadsworth speaking in the background.